Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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