I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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