i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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