we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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