matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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