I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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