Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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