this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
This is the high leading the old right now
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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