shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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