i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
