I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
