so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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