Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
handjob tips. give me some.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She bit a glass in half.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
