he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Randomize
