Whod you bang
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
