I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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