You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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