She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
