So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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