She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
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When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
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I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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