im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
