thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize