So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
‎"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
