So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize