I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dating After Heartbreak
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.