Texts From Last Night

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.

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  (907): I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it. http://tfl.nu/6xls
  Replies (38) Good night (8630) Bad night (1365)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps

  (315): View more from New York

  warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey

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  (315): playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps (315): warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey http://tfl.nu/dgn3
  Replies (86) Good night (3908) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends

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  (908): I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends http://tfl.nu/6cx1
  Replies (68) Good night (1287) Bad night (6383)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for

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  (304): She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for http://tfl.nu/s392
  Replies (19) Good night (3678) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm

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  (978): jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm http://tfl.nu/w84r
  Replies (13) Good night (901) Bad night (5311)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"

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  (508): I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money" http://tfl.nu/engr
  Replies (14) Good night (6285) Bad night (1037)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.

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  (330): Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge. http://tfl.nu/j5wy
  Replies (8) Good night (4346) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.

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  (903): I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron. http://tfl.nu/xifm
  Replies (4) Good night (2069) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too

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  (402): He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too http://tfl.nu/2c7f
  Replies (9) Good night (4322) Bad night (1021)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.

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  (678): My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed. http://tfl.nu/n0s1
  Replies (14) Good night (6895) Bad night (1766)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

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  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1491) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.

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  (314): I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio. http://tfl.nu/grri
  Replies (9) Good night (1942) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time

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  (603): You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time http://tfl.nu/76fp
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.

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  (978): I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite. http://tfl.nu/sc9k
  Replies (1) Good night (799) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick

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  (785): U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick http://tfl.nu/it39
  Replies (7) Good night (1248) Bad night (195)

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