Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i would punch a child for taco bell
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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