It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
