I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
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