in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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