Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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