Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
