She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
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Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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