You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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