And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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