i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
