I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
