Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Randomize