would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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