then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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