You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize