Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
