Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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