what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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