Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
