Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
