sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
