haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
