It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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