You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
