im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
