yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
