I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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