She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
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Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
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Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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