My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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