The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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