new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
