We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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